In 1986 my 20 year old brother was killed in a motorbike accident, he was buried in the beautiful Bredhurst church. My mum visited his grave daily and this was how she coped with the loss of her son. There was never a problem about anything we placed on his grave. My parents helped to mow the part of the graveyard where my brother was buried and continued to do so until 2007 when my dad died fairly suddenly and so I took over the mowing. My dad was buried just in front of my brother and again we placed a few personal momentum’s on his grave. A small gift at Christmas or birthdays or maybe something that held a memory for us. My dad was only 63. Then tragedy struck our family again in 2018 when my other brother died in his sleep aged only 51, he was buried in with our other brother. 

I had lost both my siblings and dad and my mum had lost a husband and two of her three children. We cannot believe the hurt caused by suddenly deciding we all have to stick to these out dated rules. What harm was a small mug with grandad written on it or a small jar with an eeyore teddy inside doing to anyone? I stopped helping by mowing this part of the church when all these problems started. I will not be a part of what these people are doing.