The results of the consultation presented in the manner it was, yet again showed a lack of social awareness. Why invite everyone, including those who it acknowledged had suffered emotional harm and stress over the past 5 years or so, to an event to announce no change?
The manner in which this event was carried out was contemptible, showing complete disregard for those who wanted to see the church take opportunity for change.
The full consultation process has been done behind closed doors. It was yet another example of failed leadership of the PCC of South Gillingham.
Conspicuous by his absence was the Rev Brian Senior on whose watch alone have problems arisen at the St Peter’s graveyard.
No wonder people are losing interest in the Church when, rather than reach out, it prefers to circle the wagons around its own out of touch team and outdated approach.
At the end of the event when they invited questions, they attempted to close down this opportunity for those attending as soon as it became apparent that the questions were awkward for them. Again, a lack of understand of the suffering that they continue to inflict. They offered no compromise.
This was their opportunity to build bridges, show compassion and empathy, and unite a community. The PCC of South Gillingham, and the Archdeacon of Rochester have failed to grasp that opportunity. They have failed us all miserably.
Church should hang its head in shame.
The way this consultation has taken place is a disgrace.
It was agreed at a mediation session at Maidstone Conciliation Services - attended by the Archdeacon of Rochester that we would be involved in the drafting of the consultation. The church reneged on that. They also declined an offer of an independent person to be involved in the final consultation review process.
The Bredhurst Bereavement Forum raised awareness of the consultation and helped get over 200 people registered.
We first heard about the consultation back in July 2020, the closing date for registrations to be the 30th September but they extended it to the 31st October 2020. It took them over a year to then send out the consultation pack.
They obtained personal details of others who had not registered directly, from funeral directors and this information had been provided to them in complete disregard to the funeral directors own GDPR.
The pack included examples of regulations about council run cemeteries and crematoriums and extracts from the Diocese of Canterbury. They left out the section that mentioned local discretion. No details of how other burial grounds are run within the Diocese of Rochester.
The Church moved goalposts in several ways:
It changed eligibility from those with graves to include those with ashes;
It told some people on social media they were too late for the consultation just after the Church’s stated deadline of 31st October 2020, even though they were next of kin to relatives buried there. But then unilaterally extended deadline and decided to also include those who had been buried at Church after the deadline;
It grossly expanded the remit and length of the consultation which, not surprisingly, put people off. It was 30 questions into the survey before it even got to the issue of items on graves.
No wonder less than half of those who wanted to participate did not do so.
If this were a public consultation, no doubt it would fail a Judicial Review given its flagrant disregard for the original stated process.
If the Diocese is behind this archaic policy, then they must enforce it in every other graveyard in the Diocese. We have spoken to other vicars from this diocese and from other dioceses and every one of them have said they would not enforce these rules to this level in their churches.
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Some great questions from Meridian News to the Church tonight.
Interesting to see how uncomfortable the Church is when trying to defend its profane practices in the public gaze rather than from the safety of a keyboard or a one way video on its website.
Consultation process shameful. What a missed opportunity. Underlined how the PCC just decided to dig in on its existing approach rather than trying to draw a line and rebuild.
Until this mindset changes, the Church will continue to see dwindling attendances, less weddings, and less baptisms.
St Peter’s remains an outlier in its outdated approach. Weak leadership needs fixing.
As the Meridian News concluded tonight, “Today’s announcement doesn’t lay the matter to rest”